Carey, Ohio (BP)

Abby Clouse was in a Christmas Play at her school and performed a piano song solo and a vocal solo in different parts of the play. I thought she did a wonderful job and was bright and cheery. She was not bashful at all and smiled throughout her performance.

Way to go Abby. Only if all performers could do

it that well!

Click on Video Clip below to see a short clip of her singing.  We are proud of you Abby

Matt has to keep them at bay, in clubs, pubs and malls. Laura is getting worried! Poor Laura!

Hang in there Babe!

When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener and my dog bit me. So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison.

pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a bre- athalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the sheriffs' office. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud non-drinker. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

Submitted By Laurie Scalf

RULES

Send in picture of your dog.

Reason why your dog should win.

Run it like a political campaign if you like

Insult any other competitor in a clean way

(this is a family website)

Run as many ads as you want

Use any photo editor for your shots

Make up slogans

Send to Official Mediator

Mediator will decide all inquiries

Do You Ever Wonder......How we managed to make it to adulthood?

 -Our mothers didn't know that their morning cups of joe would make us stupid or give us    ADHD.-ADHD wasn't a disorder it was just being a kid and no one worried about medicating us into obedience; paddles were more effective and less expensive.-Yes, we were spanked when we needed it by our parents, grandparents, teachers or whatever adult was handy to set us straight.             

-Cars didn't even have seat belts let alone car seats.-We rode our bikes without helmets or knee pads.-We were allowed to have recess that involved physical ACTIVITY like tag and dodge ball.-We had playground equipment like swings, slides, merry-go-rounds, monkey bars and teeter totters.      And (GASP) it all was mounted on blacktop.-If our parents were looking for us, they had to call every one of our friends and hope that one their parents had seen us at some point during the day. No calling the cell and having instant access to us.-No one knew sugar was BAD for you!

-Who had ever heard of saturated fat, triglycerides, cholesterol or organic food?

-If you had to go the emergency room because you wrecked your bike and broke your arm,        no one asked "Do you feel safe in your home?" or "Did your parents do this to you?"

-If we were lucky, we could watch three channels of TV but Mom and Dad chose what we watched because, well, there was only ONE TV and they paid for it.

-Yes, we had to get up off the couch and turn the knob on the TV to change channels.-Only rich people had dishwashers, microwaves and air conditioning.

-We sanitized our hands with bar soap and hot water and not some

antibacterial gel dispensed in every room.

As I review my list, I even find it amazing that I am still alive! It is truly a miracle that I didn't die sooner from any number of causes like:

Hyperactivity and the resulting discipline.

A skull fracture during one of my spills on my bicycle.

Cardiac arrest during recess from all the sugar and fat I ingested before the  aerobic activity.

Being tossed around the car when Mom or Dad slammed on the brakes.

Dish pan hands.

Being annoyed because I couldn't watch MY show and then having to change the  channel for the folks.

Contracting MRSA from one of the scrapped knees that I got from a skid on the playground pavement and then forgetting to disinfect it.

Heatstroke. It did get hot when I was a kid even though no one had heard of global warming.

Tapping my foot while I waited 10 minutes for my Spaghettios to warm up on the stove.

Never receiving proper care at the emergency room. For heavens sake, they acted  like it was evident how I obtained my injuries.

Who can survive without a cell phone? (Not Scott!)

Do you ever wonder?

By Robyn Boden

The first snow of the year. It seems as thou it is a huge mess. Of course I'm talking about everything that goes with the first snow.

Let's take the first snow flake. As soon as it falls to the ground, the kids are all excited. Why? Because, with this generation of pansies running our schools and the liberal lawyers ready to SUE anybody anytime, the schools are closed! What the hell kind of sense does this make? What are they teaching the next generation of pansies?

Well, let me tell you what they are teaching these kids. They are teaching them, that at the slightest sign of change or adversity they must run for cover. They mustn't push the envelope. At all costs they must be concerned about some loser willing to sue them “for doing the right thing” What is wrong with these people? Are they really this warped? Were they really raised by a liberal pansy, teaching that the government is what really matters and of course not getting sued!

When I was a kid in school, we rarely had a snow day. I know the kids in the “country” would sometimes get a late start or have the day off, but us city kids had to trudge through the snow, uphill both ways with a sibling on our backs.

Well enough about the schools. They suck anyway. Let's talk about the road and the reason I'm writing about “White death”.

I affectionately speak of the first snow as white death. People are insane! Just watch them drive. For God's sake these people are idiots!!! Why are they allowed to continue breathing? That was a rhetorical question, of course. But think about it.

There are three kinds of drivers:

Let's start with the “Oh my God it's here. These are the people that drive 5 to 10 MPH and that's to fast. They have no concept of safety.

The only thing of interest to these people is them and their car. I'm not sure they should have a license at all. They clog our highways with stupidity and are one of the major sources of accidents.

This brings me to the “Get the hell out of my way” people. They think they are the only one's who know how to drive. They drive 15 – 20 MPH faster then road conditions warrant. But don't care! Until they come upon the “Oh my God it's here” driver. Then it is they who must try to go around him or hit their brakes. This is the other half of the major source of accidents.

The only others drivers left are “the

reasonable”. Their out driving as carefully as possible. We look ahead for the “Oh my God it's here” group and we constantly check our rear view mirror for the “Get the hell out of my way” group and that's what makes defensive driving so much of a challenge.

Never the less we persevere, we continue to be pissed at both these groups of idiot drivers. We sometimes wish bad things on these people and sometimes it happens. Then we feel bad......kinda!

By Bob Boden

Well I've been reading all this stuff about, Who's dog is better? I think I'm going to have to say that My Dog Fefe is better!

There are so many reasons, I'll just give you a few. First of all my dog likes doggy treats and she does not have to take them outside under a big cotton wood to eat them. She is smarter than that, she eats them where I tell to her to.

Second of all, my dog also likes car rides and she is not afraid of the wind in her face. So no ridiculous goggles for her!!! 

My dog is so cool and friendly that when people come over to the house she greets them with a smile instead of a bark. Fefe likes to go to work with me and can I tell her what tools I need and she runs to the truck and brings them to me.

Sometimes it is hard for her to open tool boxes because she has no thumbs. Every Christmas for the past 11 years she has helped me hang christmas lights. Her job is to untangle and test the strands of lights.Again its a hard job for her to do because she has no thumbs.

Mom or dad has never met my dog. So the other day I wanted to take my talented dog over to mom and dads house so I could show them how much better my dog is. Fefe did a few tricks and mom was very impressed.

Not only was she impressed with  her  tricks but she also said my dog was better looking than Jack.

 I think Fefe won dads vote when she went to the front door and took a peanut out of his hands. I think Fefe reminded dad of a old friend that he once had.

Mom and dad both asked if Fefe could stay for the week and I told them we will have to wait till after the holidays cause that is their present from me this year.     

There are so many things that makes Fefe the better dog. Although she is getting old I think that she can still whip Jacks goggle wearing, Shade tree eating, two toned ass.

"THE FAMILIES

THANKSGIVING

PARTY"

Well as you know I was in the hospital that day.  But, I liked your article,  Matt   especially the part about who's dog was the good dog. So I think,  we ought to take a vote and see    who's dog is.

Now we have to have more than 2 dogs. So next year how about everyone bringing their dog on thanksgiving. and we'll all judge them and vote. There's enough places for the dogs to stay.   The winner will get a box of yummie bone snacks or a Big bone .

The kind that  the dog can chew  for days and days. I love dogs and always have.Much better than lazy  fat cats, Now who could possibly  not like dogs?     Now you have 11 months to think about this. and if you don't have a dog, borrow one  hahaha
we always have alot of fun so,  lets think up some fun games to do too.

Send them to Scott or me.

scott@bodensonline.com marie@bodensonline.com

A sad story for those of us who remember growing up with Hershey bars, and  just as sad for the generations of today. What will be outsourced next?  Pennsylvania is a big state, but it amazes me in this day, how some news doesn't make it over the mountain to the front page of our papers or the top Of our news hours in Western Pennsylvania.

Milton Hershey, this year, will be joining H. J Heinz in rolling over in his grave.  Hershey Chocolate  is moving to MEXICO...whoopee!   They're even closing down Hershey Canada. Don't buy any more Hershey Bars. Reese's Peanut Butter Cup s are my favorite and they are made by Hershey.  But, I will not purchase Another one!

M.S. Hershey had a dream... I will buy my OWN Sugar, Milk, Cocoa beans, (all natural mind you!)
and make candy...(no tariffs etc..) EVEN during the depression...HE and the Company made money...NOW some Corporate big wigs are ruining the name... AND the product M.S. created...
Please pass it on...What a bunch of college educated 'idiots'.

Thank you M.S. Hershey for all  the things I have and all you have done for me and my family...'I' do appreciate it... as for 'Dick' Lenny and Company good luck you greedy, money loving  idiots......you are ruining the name, the company, and MANY lives in central Pennsylvania....
read on...Enough is Enough!

So Hershey executives are closing  plants in the US ,laying off over a thousand  people, and destroying Mr. Hershey's dream, all to cut labor, material costs and AVOID PAYING ANY US TAXES!

The company will save about $170 million a year, all on the backs of the American people.  The top
executives will still make their mega bucks and the laid off workers will have to find other jobs, some probably at minimum wage due to their age.  All this to take their jobs to India, China and Mexico, So

WHAT part of the 'GREAT' American Chocolate Bar is left?...NOTHING! These countries are no doubt laughing at the Americans, who they don't like anyway.  How long are the American people going to sit around and let big corporations do this to us? We must all band together and let our Politicians in Washington know we have had it with NAFTA, CAFTA and 'SHAFTA' and we won't  take it any longer!
 
Please, do not buy any Hershey product!  If the company wants to take the work to these countries, then let those countries buy the product. We don't need it!
 
BOYCOTT HERSHEY!!

Dogs,  I was just thinking about years ago when my mom and I were crazy about dogs....and I still am..............

When we got our first collie , named Princy , that dog was the best dog in the world....and my mom had a Scotty dog named Casey.    We would mail post cards to the dogs from each other....

The mailman got a big kick out of that....We'd mail Xmas cards ,birthday cards, get well cards to the dogs....

They really enjoyed getting the cards....they would lick our hands to thank us.    heehee  but the most important thing about my dog Princy is she saved our lives.....

One night we were in bed

sleeping and  Princy kept waking us up......I kepttelling her to "go lay down"   I'm not getting up and letting her out...

Well when Bob woke up he smelled gas right away....We had a gas leak and Princy knew it and kept trying to wake us up. 

What a dog....We wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for her.........We had her 16 years........We've had 3 collies since then but none like her.......but almost........There's nothing like having a nice dog..........

Written by Marie Boden

This Story or Memory , will also appear in 'An Evening Down Memory Lane'.

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90 day Warranty

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$56.00

A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit and inquired of his father, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son. "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut and we'll talk about the car." The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, "Son, I've been real proud. You brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm real disappointed you haven't gotten your hair cut."

The young man paused a moment

then said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair and there's even a strong
argument that Jesus had long hair."

To this his father replied, "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went.

From Marie Boden

What a pleasant surprise. Nick and  Karlie Fly's to Detroit then drives to Carey to see his Grandma. Last time I seen Nick he had long hair, skinny and tall. Now he is taller, bald, and a pilot and a big man. Scary kinda big.

It is amazing how things change and people grow. When he left he was a teen with ager all over him, and now he is a man who followed a dream into a career.

He was dressed in his uniform when he arrived, and after my dog finally left him and Karlie alone , he talked about what he misses about Carey. Angelo's Pizza was top of the list, and when I saw him the next morning, he was eating a sub from there. See how you follow your dreams?

That meant a lot to his Grandma, to travel all that way for the few hours he could spend with her. She was very happy to see him. Robyn and I left early Saturday night and Poppy, Grandma, Nick and Karlie spent the evening together.

Nice...........

This sign is a gift. Does anyone know where this sign is located? And no, I did not edit the words or change anything. This is the way it appears.

Now, what can be determined by this?

Does it mean the Income Tax Office is in the Restroom? Or, Is the Restroom in the Income Tax Office? Maybe it means Income Tax should be in the toilet.

Does the accountant sit at the wash table and while you are doing your business, the accountant is doing your tax assessment? Maybe that is why they offer you a special place to sit while you pay your taxes. Does the stall door have a sliding drawer to pass your check through?

OR maybe, while the accountant is figuring your taxes, too many people just shit their pants right then and there?

It could be that this ended up being a planned location for the tax office. They might have had a meeting and counted how many people could not make it to the toilet after they were given their tax amount payables. The mayor and council might of had to have a closed session just to get tax payers closer to the porcelain after the tax assessment was

calculated! Maybe, the city could get .01 percent more if they could

use one room for two kinds of business!

Who knows? I think the most likely reason this appears on the door inside the Carey Municipal Building in front of God and anyone who walks through the main doors, is because..........

PICK ONE ANSWER ONLY

No one there has seen the forest because there are too many trees?

  If you don't know where your going, any road will get you there,

You'll feel better when it quits hurting.

  If we lived here we'd be home right now!

To be a TAX MAN you are the turd in the punch bowl.

by Scott Boden

Carey Ohio (BP)

John Windau went back to Matt's house to complain about his shed again. Windau has a shed fetish maybe or he just don't like Matt! It seems like Windau is at Matt's house more than he is anywhere else.

Last summer I think it was, Windau was in Matt's back yard looking at everything Matt had in his yard. Matt had some large tools, construction materials and what not, and Windau must have been driving around and seen it. I do not know if Windau had to call the EMS because of his "condition" or had a heart attack or something, but Windau just could not contain himself.

I understand Windau was shaking in his shoes because he was so excited about seeing something in Matt's yard!

I wonder if Windau can sleep at night if he thinks Matt has something in his yard.  I wonder............What does Windau dream about..................

His slumber is shortened by the thought of the color of Matt's shed, Windau trembles in his sleep, sweating, his breath, shallow and quick. His body leaps, because he dreamed he fell off a ladder while he was looking over a fence to see what Matt was doing.

Windau dreams he is running to the Carey Paper to proclaim Matt's shed is the wrong color. His breathing is quicker, he is gasping for air. Dreaming he is still running, he falls over some bushes, his pants get muddy. He dreams he has to go home and change before someone see's him. But there are clothes on Mrs. Smiths line. He takes down a pair of trousers and runs back to Matt's shed and changes his pants.

He needs to shower he says out loud, he regroups. He is just going to go to the paper he thinks, even with the way he looks, and just then, Matt pulls up in his construction truck, Windau's heart starts beating harder , pounding in his chest. The pounding is so hard Windau can hear it. There is hissing in his ears, He is not sure he can hear what Matt is doing because of the noises in his ears.

Matt drops a arm full of 2 X 4's

on the ground beside his shed. The sound of the boards falling and banging together frightens him, Windau pee's his pants. He tries to scream for help, but no sound comes from his throat, he tries again, nothing. All that comes out of his mouth is a whisper....."HELP!"......."HELP!" It's sound is course and almost silent.  HE wets himself again.

Windau hears Matt close the door on the back of his truck, He thinks it's almost over. He is dreaming Matt will go into his house and he can get away. But then the shed door opens.................

Windau sits up screaming in his bed. His sheets are wet, his Ken Doll pajamas are soiled. He is now very angry, and each time he blinks he see's this vision:

The next day Windau goes to Matt's house and knocks on the door. He is shaking in his shoes, his hands are trembling and he ask's Matt when is he going to finish his shed.

Now, I couldn't tell you what color Matt's shed is or where it is at for that matter, and I have been in Matt's back yard a thousand times.

All Matt has to do is stomp his foot at Windau and I think he really would piss his pants. I think I would hand Windau a paint brush and tell him to go make it what ever color he wanted, and that should just about do it. That should end Windau's compulsive behavior complex and maybe he would be able to move on to some one else's back yard.

by Scott Boden