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__________________________Wednesday ________________________

 
U.S.A.                                                                       http://bodensonline.com                                                            July 9, 2008

 

Our 1st Year Anniversary Edition

MORE COMING  CHECK BACK!

Our 1st Year

Anniversary

Edition

by Scott Boden

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A year has gone by since our first edition of Bodensonline.com. That makes this our First Anniversary Edition.

There was alot of E-mails, phone calls, participation, and pictures to name a few of the things that happened here. Sometimes Bob and I would either be on the phone for hours at a time or if there was lots of work to do, he would drive from Dayton to Marion so we could work on this thing we have created.

I have been yelled at, cussed at, threatened to be sued, boycotted, talked about, talked about on blog's on other web sites, and hated sometimes. At the same time, I have pissed off people, politicians, and most likely ethnic groups from all races.

I have challenged liberals to common sense and they leave our site! That is funny.

I have gotten hate mail, hate phone calls and as I have always said, we will post all. And we did!  We did not get challenged by any democrat or liberal that could cut the forces of good sense and intelligence.

In this Edition, you will see some old articles and photos as well as some new stuff I have been saving just for this Edition.

We have changed our format a couple of times, and we have some new changes coming. For instance, we have decided that you will have to log in and your IP address will then be allowed access to our site. This is because we have some people who try to hack and what not and there are also some stupid kids that I wish to keep off of here.

This will give us some control on who we allow on our site. After you get a log on and your IP is logged, you can have access just like you have now. Only thing that will change, is I will know who is logging on without tracing IP's. Which I do sometimes to see what creeps in Marion are reading our site, if Jamie can read that is! And if you wondered if he was stupid, all you have to do is listen to him talk, and then you have nothing to wonder about.

So, stay tuned and watch the changes as they happen this fall. It has been alot of fun and I want to thank everyone who participated through out the year. WE NEED MORE.

If all would write in we would have so much material and a better website.  WE NEED YOU!

Thanks, Bob & Scott

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Poppy and Ron build set for school play

Dec 2007

_________________________________________________

Carey High School play last year has Poppy and Ron to thank for the stage show. Building everyday for who knows how long, would get a hand drawn picture of something and then the two would set out to build it.

Knowing full well that Poppy was having a good time, I too had to see what they were doing every once in a while.

===============================================

===============================================

The good old days........

by Marie Boden

_____________________________________

If any of you have doubt about what we kids paid for a coke and a sandwich at Woolworths in the 1950's, here's proof of the era we lived........and it was a GREAT ERA to live as a teenager !!!!

This is Really Bad, But Mom sent it in anyway!

by Marie Boden

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Congratulations

to

Laurie and Julio

by Kelly Clouse

_______________________________________________________________________

I just want to say congratulations to you both on you're wedding. It was very beautiful and you two were gorgeous.

Neither one of them tripped but the bride started to laugh and we thought there was going to be a hysterical uncontrollable laugh from the bride during the ceremony when the preacher, we thought was going to say the word “obey.” Though, that would have been funny to see. Great job Laurie and Julio!

Emma, the flower girl, looked so cute in her dress and when she was throwing the rose petals on the floor. I think she practiced so much that when it was time for the real thing she was just excited that she didn’t have to do it anymore that the touchdown arms went
up. A lot of the attention was on

her; but how could you not give her the attention, she is so darn cute. She did a great job. Great job Emma!

The best man Fred did a great job on the speech. I personally don’t like giving them I would get all flustered and go blank just as soon as I started. Great job Fred!

The parents of the bride and groom looked very nice. And as Scott stated on his input about the father of the bride walking her down the isle the preacher did throw him off to the side which was very rude I thought. He didn’t say anything about him or to him, just pushed him behind. But he did a great job. Great job Dad!

All in all, everyone danced and had a great time. The night was perfect.

By Kelly Clouse

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If I were a Wizard

by Robyn Boden

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If I were a wizard:

 

           Celery would taste like Krispy Kremes

              Gravity would push up, not pull down

              There would be 36 hours in a day

              Wisdom would not come with wrinkles and gray hair

              Pepsi would once again come in glass bottles

              Sleeping would be an aerobic activity

              There wouldn’t be any commercials on TV

              Work weeks would be 2 days, weekends 5

              Everyone would be a republican

              Sundays would never end

              Mondays would never start

              Business suits would be as comfy as PJs

              Every time we had a birthday we would be a year younger

              Every news story would have a happy ending

             

   The only time it would rain is at night when the rain could gently pitter patter on the camper roof

              Everyone’s dog would be good like Jack

              No one would find Britney Spears’ life interesting

              Campfire smoke would always drift straight up

              Blondes really would have more fun

              A bottomless cup of coffee would be a reality not just an ad gimmick

_________________________________________

Real American

FACTS

by Ryanba

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Open their eyes to the real American FACTS !!

The Department of Justice reports that approximately 8,000 blacks were murdered in the United States in 2005. In one year, that's exactly double the total number of American military deaths during the entire five years of the war in Iraq; in one year, that's 10 times the average number of American military deaths per year since the start of the war.

A recent study by the Bureau of Justice Statistics at the Department of Justice shows that blacks committed murders in 2005 at a rate seven times higher than whites. The vast majority of those 8,000 black murders in 2005 were interracial -- black victims being killed by other blacks. Similarly, Justice Department statistics covering the years 1976 through 2005 show that 94 percent of black murder victims were killed by blacks, and 86 percent of white murder victims were killed by whites. Conversely, in inter-racial terms, 6 percent of black murder victims during those years were killed by non-blacks while 14 percent of white murder victims were killed by non-whites.

For 1976 through 2005, the Justice Department reports that blacks, 12 percent of the U.S. population, committed 52 percent of the nation's murders and were 47 percent of all murder victims. Until I heard the racist and anti-American tirades of Barack Obama's pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, it hadn't occurred to me that the murderous fires in the black community were being stoked from the pulpits inside black churches.

I wonder if it's ever occurred to Obama and Wright that it probably doesn't help young people in the black community when they're told that their country hates them, that the U.S. government gave them drugs and AIDS, and that jail and genocide are the officially-sanctioned plan for them.

"The government gives them drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law and then wants us to sing 'God Bless America,'" shouted Wright at his congregation. "No, no, no. God damn America. That's in the Bible, for killing innocent people. God damn America for treating our citizens as less than human. God damn America for as long as she acts like she is God and she is supreme."

I wonder if Obama ever considered the negative impact on young blacks from listening to these hateful and anti-white tirades. It's not as if Obama is blind to the influence of hate speech. When

Don Imus made one careless remark about black female athletes, Obama was among the first to call for his firing. Fines and a temporary suspension weren't enough. Obama said he wanted Imus silenced so that his young daughters never had to hear such language. Does Obama think it's good for his daughters and the black community when black leaders increase the black community's level of anger, defeatism, paranoia, cynicism, negativity and pessimism? Does he think it's good to jack up the level of the resentment and racism in a community that's already overdosed on rage and victimhood?

"Recent statistics show that more than three times as many black people live in prison cells as in college dorms," reports the Lincoln Institute for Research and Education. "One in every 10 black men between the ages of 25 and 29 is in prison."

On top of being murdered, blacks are also "more likely than any other group to be victims of serious violent crime," reports the Justice Department, which is defined as "rape, other sexual assaults, robbery or aggravated assault."

And we need more ranting and raving, more boiling with rage? Does Obama think it improves matters when black leaders tell blacks that they're poor, sick, jailed or hooked on drugs because of a government plot? Does it help to fix things if the choir is singing "The devil made me do it," the white devil? "The government lied about inventing the HIV virus as a means of genocide against people of color,"

Rev. Wright preaches to his congregation. In America, he asserted, "no black woman can ever be considered for anything outside what she can give with her body." The United States is "the number-one killer in the world," preached Wright, the "U.S. of K.K.K. A," a nation that only maintains its standard of living "by making sure that Third World people live in grinding poverty."

For 20 years, Barack Obama drank the aforementioned Kool-Aid, never seeing the problem.

That makes him a problem.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Growing Up

by Sandy

**********************************************

I think just for entertainment, reading this would be kinda cute to add to

bodensonline.

After all, many of us have heard all the stories about how hard it was growing up as a Boden from all the "oldies". My Dad, always told us about how hard he always had to work and he quit school to work. Well kids these days really don't know how easy they have it. We had to walk to school, heck, around here the bus  picks up the kids that live in town, and they wonder why kids are fat!!

Fast food, going to a restaurant was only for special occasions, now it's almost always fast food and special occasions are for cooking at home. Bring on the Hamburger Helper or the frozen entrée.

Go ahead fill the sink and get those dishes washed, dried, and put away.

Does anyone know what an iron is? Oh yeah, do you use it?

When was the last time you licked a stamp, you do know what a stamp is don't you?

When was the last time you dialed a phone number. Before long there will be no more land lines.

How about a roll of film, along with  flash bulbs. As for processing those pictures you might have to wait a week or so, now it only takes a few seconds on the good ol' PC.

Times are changing way to fast.... or am I just getting way to old. I'm sure as each day goes more things are changing and becoming more obsolete.

I think I need a nap.

Love you Guys  

Merry Christmas to All and Another Happy New Year.

Jr. & Sandy
Kesas Cove Resort

www.kesascove.com

<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>

Finally...a Real Man's Chain Letter!

This chain letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged men. Unlike most chain letters, this one doesn't cost anything! Just send a copy of this letter to five of your male friends who are equally tired and discontented. Then bundle up your wife and/or girlfriend and send her to the man whose name appears at the top of the following list, and add your name to the bottom of the list. When your turn comes, you will receive 15,625 women.

At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine had already received 184 women, of whom four were worth keeping. This chain also brings good luck. One man's pit bull died, and the next day he received a Playboy playmate. An unmarried Jewish man living with his widowed mother was able to choose between a Hooter's waitress and a Hollywood super model. You can be lucky too, but DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN! One man broke the chain and got his wife back. Let's keep it going, men! Just add your name to the list below

Bill Clinton 780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
Billy Clinton
780 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10017
Billie Clinton
780 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10017
B. Clinton
780 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10017
William Jefferson Clinton
780 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10017
W. Jefferson Clinton
780 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10017
W. Jeff Clinton
780 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10017
W. J. Clinton
780 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10017
W.
Clinton 780 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10017
William J Clinton
780 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10017
Willem Clinton
780 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10017
Wilhelm Clinton
780 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10017
Willie Clinton
780 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10017
Will
Clinton 780 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10017
Mr. Hillary Clinton
780 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10017

 

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Stupid People Should Not Vote!

The polls:

I dabbled in politics for awhile, and have learned that anyone can run for any office with or without an education or be qualified for the job he or she is running for. I guess you have to be a lawyer now days to be a judge, and one also has to have schooling to be a sheriff today. But it did not used to be that way for these jobs.

But to be a mayor you need nothing but to be liked, you don't even have to know how to read. To run for city auditor, you need no degree. Council seats, the same way. County commissioner, no education required.

What? Are you all thinking no way? Well it's true. Morons run this country. Idiots run your county governments and stupid shits run our towns.

A crack head could be mayor. Example, Marion Barry! A sex freak can be president, Clinton! etc.

Now that brings me to the polls. All the commercials on TV about our local and federal candidates fill our evenings. Not one ad has anything to do with anything important to our lives and the job they say they are good for.

I ran a campaign for a man who is running for Marion City Auditor until he insulted me and with his arrogance and lack of following the campaign guide we set up. Resulting in

much work done for nothing.

I have better things to do with my time than to waste it on someone who don't care or have respect. He may be best qualified out of the two people running, but neither should have it!

But I think more people need to vote because there are groups who prey on the none voters. The non smoking ban for instance.

Do you know property owners pay for school taxes? Do you also know that non property owners vote on the school levies and tax hikes? That's right! Someone who rents can vote for me to pay higher taxes. All they have to do is vote yes and I have to pay higher taxes while their life does not change except their kid gets better school stuff that I pay for. That's is taxation without representation folks! Which I believe is illegal.

So vote people, so it isn't all bull. If you don't vote, don't complain! I have always said, stupid people should not vote........

by Scott Boden

____________________________________________________

Don't Cry to Me, I don't want to Hear IT!

Marion Ohio (BP)

For all of you who will piss and moan about the way our cities and county government, and federal government for that matter will be ran, I don't want to hear it. Or maybe I do. Because the more you complain to me about the inevitable tax increases we will soon face, will show me just how gullible you are as a society.If you didn't vote in the general election then of course, you do realize you have no voice and absolutely no reason in the world to say anything good or bad about tax hikes, the loss of revenues the government will lose, on a scale to our city, state and county governments that will most likely double our strain!@#$ What? Did I say tax hike and loss of tax revenue in the same sentence? (Home owner says) "Honey? Honey? Is that what he is saying? " I did! The first thing the democrats will do, is raise taxes, and change the way the revenue is being spent. Property owners will feel it the most, and of course, you will see it at the pumps. Just to name a couple of things. Raising taxes is usually a bad thing because if taxes are raised on say property, or capital gains from property (which is on the board of decisions the democrats are working on) then owners will not sell! Which means, landlords and property owners will hold on to their land, and they will have to charge more for rent to cover the burden of taxes renters DO NOT PAY so your kids can get the same crap I provide for my kids, but the government will lose revenue on sale taxes, purchase taxes, renovations a home owner would have used if the taxes were not raised etc and there will end up being LESS money for the government to use, because they have raised the kitty.

 

Democrats cannot seem to understand this phenomenon. Raising taxes loses money. Lowering taxes,  builds revenue! If what I have told you is true about raising taxes then it would be beneficial to lower taxes, and more people would spend, sell, buy, etc, and that would create an economy and provide more tax funds and tax bases would get larger in of it's own machine!

Oh....Wait......The Democrats are in charge, so reality is sinking in. We now will have to pay for everyone's medical, dental, and don't forget the illegal immigrants who will need our money so we can house them in prison, pay restitution to the victims in which they have come in contact with, put their kids on welfare, and pay for their attorneys who will make sure that their rights have not been violated, while we are forced to stop making our dreams come true, or make our retirement plan evolve because taxes were raised! Damn!

Realtors like Laurie will feel the up and coming pinch because they will have to wait to make a living as homes will leave the market that is already slow due to interest rates........

It is time folks, to roll up your sleeves and learn what is going on around you and make people pay their own way, after all, it is your right!

by Scott Boden

I challenge you to voice your opinion on politics if you like, or if you do not share my views. But remember, if you didn't vote, you really don't have anything to say.

 

One of the first stories of Bodensonline.com

At our Last Family Re union.......

EXCLUSIVE POST:

So......I Can't Splash Huh?

July 8 , 2007

_______________________________________________________
 

   Findlay Ohio has a ban on splashing water! Go figure. You are on the water, in the hot sun, humidity....High, so you want to cool off. How insane is that? But wait, you can rent a row boat!! We won't say what Findlay City Park this is, but for a small fee, one can rent a row boat.

  Well, some of our family rented two row boats. It is a fun thing. It's not hard to do, really, it takes hardly any sense to craft one of these things, and if done right, you might get some laughter out of the

  whole experience.

Fun in the sun, is what (I won't mention Bri or Ambers name and their boyfriends),but that's what they set out to do.

They get maybe 15 feet away and one of the guys splashed someone in the other boat. I can see that, and I suppose, the other boat splashed back, I would have, and DAMN,(pronounced DAAAAAMMN!!!) some teenage witch who clearly was in charge of the boat rental place threw a hissy! Screaming at the renters to bring the boats in. The boat renters were looking around to see who was in so much trouble, when they realized it was no one other but themselves. Can you feel this?

  As we raise only good children in our family, they turned their boats around and brought them back in the 15 feet they managed to go before all hell broke loose.

They wanted their money back! they weren't allowed to boat, so they wanted their money. They should have gotten their money back.  But the wicked (b)witch would not give up the cash. Talk about hell breaking loose, DAMN!

Now, I don't fear very much, and I've hit big boys before who just smiled, but I was scared today. There was steam, and pacing back and forth and words that would make a sailor blush were

freely thrown around like we were in satan's church.

I expected a chicken was about to be sacrificed because I didn't understand the language that was being spoken ever so softly, kind of like a chant of some sort. I know I was close enough to see a glow of red in the eyes of both of those girls.

 

The boyfriends....... don't stand a chance. They are in for life now. Damned if they do, Damned if they don't. It's over. Game.

now then................

Aunt Mary's cake keeper was just sitting there and it could hold water. About 2 gallons or so I bet. The two chanting females and the two guys with now, hypnotic, glassy eyes filled that keeper up with water and set out to make things all, better.

It was the damndest thing. The two guys carried that keeper over to the boat house and stood behind some bushes. The two girls went to the window of the boat house and ask for the wicked (b)witch.

The (b)witch was now at the window, superiority in her eyes. There was (b) written all over her face.

Then SPLASH! Two plus gallons of water came out from behind the bushes in a methodical form. Like soldiers, the two guys walked up and dooosh.

The aim was perfect. Every drop hit that (b)witch. She didn't even see it coming! The b that was written on her face was replaced with complete and utter is-belief. I was standing not far away, but I could tell she wanted to cry. It was GREAT!  

I mean awful, that should not have happened. It WAS not the RIGHT thing TO DO

At this point I guess the only other thing left to say to the boat keeper was.........

So...I can't splash huh?

True Story

by Scott Boden

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   

______________________________________________

Coon’s One, Jack Zero

BY SCOTT BODEN

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last night, while Robyn and I were sitting out under our awning, a raccoon just walked up to us, I guess the coon had not noticed Jack, or was not worried. The coon was young, but full size. As soon as Robyn seen it, she warned me it was coming, and I immediately called for Jack to come to me. I knew if he seen it, the race would be on.

 

As I figured, Jack did see it while he was walking to me, wondering why I was calling him, but as soon as he saw it, he knew I must have called him for that reason. There was no stopping him. The coon was only seven feet away from Jack when he saw it and then the coon took off. Now if the coon would have been older, it most likely would have known not to just walk into people and pets, and if it did, it would have been smart to not run.

 

This young coon took off. Jack took off. I thought oh no, Jack is gonna learn something here, if not get hurt. You could hear Jack’s growling and cussing and the brush in the woods from the two of them running as Jack chased the coon. We couldn’t see anything. The coon was screaming, Jack had it! Jack had it in his mouth. I

knew he was gonna try to kill it. The coon stopped screaming and Jack started yelping. Jack got tagged by the coon. Jack must have let go of the coon and seconds later you could hear the coon growling and Jack still

yelping. Jack knew when to run, as a second or two passed and Jack was back at the camp site, with his tail between his legs.

Jack was confused. He had not seen a cat like that before, and he just kept his head low and looked from where he came. You could tell he was thinking about what had happened to him. We was ashamed of himself.  He was pissed off that a funny looking cat got the best of him. All of a sudden, Jack sat up, and wanted to dart out into the woods for a rematch. He was ready for anything to move. A breeze moved a leaf and he was chomping at the bit.

 

That is not how I wanted him act. I wanted him to realize that that funny looking cat was meaner, wiser, and faster and he should just leave it alone. I guess he will learn another time, and I hope he will come back with all his parts.   At least it wasn’t a skunk that came up seven feet away. I am sure I would have been a typing a different story from another part of Delaware State Park.

by Scott Boden

************************************************

"REUNION"

JUST A REMINDER THAT THE REUNION IS JULY 13.....A WEEK FROM THIS SUNDAY.. 9 AM TILL 6 PM  COME ANYTIME AND STAY AS LONG AS YOU WANT...... HOPE YOU CAN ALL COME.....  

HOPEFULLY WE'LL EAT BETWEEN 12 NOON AND 1 PM  

"SEE YOU THERE"

##################################################

Remember This Photo?

by Scott Boden

This photo had caused so much trouble, from one person. Do you remember who? It was amazing to me how this photo chopped picture could cause the nauseated and ill guided to banish this website!

Still funny to this day, I remember having a war on our blog. I was threatened to be sued, and I think the response made them cry!

Well, I still have no use for stupid, and liberals, and I am still waiting on a challenge about Osamaba, that I am sure will not come! If you can't prove me wrong, then it is best to cry and take your toys and go home.

Can anyone tell me who got their skirt in a bunch? Maybe their neck tie too tight? Maybe even had a head injury in the past!

Or ate some paint chips?

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

____________________________________________

Dear Smelly Mel

 

My husband has been running around with a chinese woman..

He doesn't know that I know....What should I do?

 

I think you should play a game with him. Make it fun. Start serving all meals with chopsticks. Everything you serve should be accompanied with rice. Go as far as buying a Cheongsam (a traditional Chinese dress) put it in the closet then question him about it.  Learn a

Chinese word a day and use it on him when he gets home from work. You get the picture!  It won’t take long for him to be driven to enough

guilt to just come clean. Then it’s up to you. If he wants to spend time with Hei Nue Whank there is not much you can do about it, but you

might as well have some fun in the meantime.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Smelly Mel

 

My wife is the worst housekeeper on this planet....She buys and buys

at the store, brings the bags home and just piles them in the living room....It's gotten so bad that now all the rooms are filled with bags of stuff she bought...There must be 500 bags piled everywhere and theres no where to sit and eat or watch TV.....She must be going crazy....What can I do to make her stop buying and piling up?

I think your wife should have all of her credit cards taken and canceled and she should have to give most of the stuff to charity or have a

garage sale. Tie her up outside at the cash table of your sale and sell everything at a huge discount while she watches. After it’s all over,

show her what the furniture and floors, etc. look like. Have dinner at the table and watch a little TV… as her reward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Smelly Mel

 

I came home from work early yesterday and there was a strange car in our driveway. I walked in our house and my wife was in our bedroom. I tried to

open the door and it was locked. She started yelling at me and was angry that I was home early, and said I needed to go to the grocery and get milk. I still don’t know what I did wrong or why she was so mad at me, but when I got back from the grocery, that car was gone. When I ask her who that car belonged to, she didn’t know what I was talking about. I am I going crazy? My wife seems angry

all the time. I never can do anything right anymore and she never wants to have sex. She said she wouldn’t touch me with a ten foot pole. I don’t understand

what is wrong with her.  What can I do for her? Please Help!

 

Bruised by ten foot pole 2 times

  

Dear Bruised,

 

It sounds like you may be losing your mind. When you come home and think you see a mystery car in the driveway, that’s a little wacko, don’t you think?

Especially if she is just in the bedroom with the door locked. You have a work schedule that she expects you to stick to. Coming in and out of the house at random times is just wrong. That’s probably why she doesn’t want to have sex with you. You’re too unpredictable.

 

Give your wife a little privacy during the day and things will get better for her. Perhaps you could work a little late with the secretary or a female colleague

and give your wife more quality time in the bedroom. There are ways to solve these types of problems, but you have to be imaginative about it. When you get home at 10:00 PM, tell your wife she must be going crazy, since it’s only 5:00… get the drift? It takes two to make a marriage fall apart and you are just not

pulling your weight here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Smelly Mel

 

I work 8 hours a day and when I get home, my wife is taking a nap. When I sit down to watch TV, I want a beer. So I wake her up!  Well, lately she has been bringing my beer to me with out opening it! She told me her feet hurts from

chasing our twins, 3 year old boys and asked me If I would help around the

house, maybe do the dishes. I don’t know what that has to do with not opening my beer, but I told her I work all day and this was her job, and besides her feet are smaller than mine so she would be able to stand closer to the sink.  Our

house is always a mess and she don’t spend any time with me and my friends at the bar any more! What’s her problem?

 

The man of the house

 

Dear Man of the house,

 

You should have your beer replace with some type of poison. You are evil and should be destroyed. Count your blessing that your wife hasn’t realized this yet. Get off the couch, do some dishes, get your wife a beer and rub her tired feet or someday she will realize that you should be eliminated or that she should move

out while you are at work. This is an emergency, take action now or you could die.  

    

>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<

Look Out Ethel

Here he comes, look at that, look at that
There he goes, look at that, look at that
And he ain't wearin' no clothes

Oh, yes, they call him the Streak
Look at that, look at that
Fastest thing on two feet
Look at that, look at that
He's just as proud as he can be
Of his anatomy
He goin' give us a peek

Oh, yes, they call him the Streak
Look at that, look at that
He likes to show off his physique
Look at that, look at that
If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streakin' around
Invitin' public critique

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

                                                                                                  

She Has No Thumbs

by Matt Wentling

________________________

Well I've been reading all this stuff about, Who's dog is better? I think I'm going to have to say that My Dog Fefe is better!

There are so many reasons, I'll just give you a few. First of all my dog likes doggy treats and she does not have to take them outside under a big cotton wood to eat them. She is smarter than that, she eats them where I tell to her to.

Second of all, my dog also likes car rides and she is not afraid of the wind in her face. So no ridiculous goggles for her!!! 

My dog is so cool and friendly that when people come over to the house she greets them with a smile instead of a bark. Fefe likes to go to work with me and can I tell her what tools I need and she runs to the truck and brings them to me.

Sometimes it is hard for her to open tool boxes because she has no thumbs. Every Christmas for the past 11 years she has helped me hang christmas lights. Her job is to untangle and test the strands of lights. Again its a hard job for her to do because she has no thumbs.

Mom or dad has never met my dog. So the other day I wanted to take my talented dog over to mom and dads house so I could show them how much better my dog is. Fefe did a few tricks and mom was very impressed.

Not only was she impressed with  her  tricks but she also said my dog was better looking than Jack.

 I think Fefe won dads vote when she went to the front door and took a peanut out of his hands. I think Fefe reminded dad of a old friend that he once had.

Mom and dad both asked if Fefe could stay for the week and I told them we will have to wait till after the holidays cause that is their present from me this year.     

There are so many things that makes Fefe the better dog. Although she is getting old I think that she can still whip Jacks goggle wearing, Shade tree eating, two toned ass.

by Matt Wentling

 

I Will Miss Sally

This is Sally...

She was about 6 or 7 years old.

It took me awhile to get her to come to me to give her a peanut. So I would throw her a nut out away from me and then each time I would throw it a little closer and I would talk to her.

Finally she would come up to me to get a nut.    Then she started to take the nut out of my hand....She would come to the door and if we didn't answer she would jump up to the window and start scratching to get our attention., Then she would go jump up on the arm of the swing and wait for me to get her nuts. She then would put her paws on my hand and take the nut.

She got to where she would come to the garage, yard and on the fence...

I would call out  "Hey Sally  you want a nut"?   And she'd come running and take it out of my hand.     I truly will miss that old girl ..She was the best..I do have other ones (squirrels) but not like Sally....She was the one I loved....

Poppy....

 

By Robert Boden

(Poppy)

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bodensonline Summer Edition VOL IV

CAMPIN TIMES

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Kelly Caught this one (Above)

Robyn caught a 27 inch Channel catfish

 

 

Trio Takes Ride

Carefree Easy Riders took to the streets of America. Covering more than a block on a dead end street, counting multiple trips to the stop sign and back, the nuns at the corner were terrified of the Trio. Terrified that the three would come back again and again.

One of the nuns, Sister Mary Louise Teresa Rose was tempted by the gang and was running down the street yelling "take me with you, I want to be a biker babe!"

Mother Superior, however put her foot down and Sister Mary Louise Teresa Rose accidentally tripped, falling hard and regaining her senses, and put her Habit top back on.

Next year the three plan on riding down to main street, or even go around the block.

Ride On Brothers.....

How We Dogsit Bayli

by Scott, Robyn and Matt    Hehehehe!

Let me tell you how to dog sit! Wendi,(Robyns daughter), a lovely woman, and her husband Kevin went on vacation to Disney Land in Florida. They have a Beagle named Bayli. Now Bayli is a handfull becuase Wendi is so kind and never wants to make the dog listen. This woman has more patients than anyone I know. However, Bayli is a brat. Well, was a brat.

The first night we had her, I went to Carey to go fishing with my Dad, Uncle Dave, Matt went and a friend of Uncle Dave's. I went up the night before to stay in our camper. Matt and I went fishing that night too, so I ask Mom to keep Jack and Bayli. My Mom was glad too.

Friday (the next day) after we got back from fishing, my poor mother came out of her house worn out and upset. Bayli she said barked and barked and barked untill she could not take it anymore! My Mom snapped and took a 2 by 4 and hit Bayli over the head, she said 22 times till the dog became limp and silent.

AAhh you know that is not true, but my Mom did teach Bayli not to bark. She said it was a simple plan, easy to do, and fun! Use the hose! Squirt the bark! It worked! After that day, a squirt bottle worked to remind Bayli that silence is golden and dry.

Wendi and Kevin warned us that Bayli would dart out the door and or car door at every chance. So to break her of that, I stopped my truck on a very busy highway, and opened the door when all the lanes were full. When I opened my door, Bayli jumped out, and right back in. Done. For a beagle, she sure is fast!

This is how we fed her.

We would only let her lick her food. Speaking of licking, we had to break her of that too: We all put very very hot peppers on our hands and stuck them in her mouth. Done. She don't lick anymore.

This was how we kept her in one place most of the day.

Here is Robyn, teaching Bayli to hold her breath!

This is Bayli passed out from the sun, in a busy alley. Cars had to swerve around her.

For fun, we would tie her to a tree. Two days later, Robyn asked where whats her name was, and then I remembered that Matt tied her to a tree in a vacant lot. But she was doing fine without food or water.

Here is Baily trying to get out of the lake. We tied her to a dock post with just enough rope so she could almost get out of the water. She seemed to like it because she didn't ever bark to indicate she wanted to come out of the water. So we left her there for 17 or 18 hours. But that next morning, she sure was tired.

She slept for 14 hours! The next thing I know, Wendi and Kevin were back to pick her up to take her home. That week went real fast. It was almost like Bayli wasnt even there!

 

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FOR SALE

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FOR SALE

1994 Chevy 3/4 ton pick up. Will trade for new Chevy 3/4 ton 4 wheel drive!

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Lead balloons  $15.00 ea.

 

10 lb of recycled toilet paper

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