Happiness on the Horizon

by

Molly Cooper

"If you go to your Mom's, I will take our child from you and you will have to find a place to live", he said to his wife. "You are not allowed to go there, do you understand?", he barks at her her again. She is crying. She knows she is not strong enough to stand up to him. She is silent. She knows that she is miserable if she is alone. She knows that if she does not have a man in her life she feels like she is useless and without any attention from a man she knows she can not believe in herself.

In her younger days, she would take any guy that would ask her out. She would become needy until the guy would leave her. She did bring one guy home that was more needy than her, and she dumped him. The guy she married is a bully and a porn freak. If he doesn't get his own way, he will threaten the marriage knowing full well she will not take a chance that he would really dump her. She knows she is not happy, and she knows she does not love her husband. She is so depressed that she is overweight by at least 100 pounds. She has no impulse or desire to be caring or thoughtful. His very sight sickens her.

She wakes up everyday to be nothing but obedient; she knows she has better ways to raise their son. She knows how important reading to the baby is, but he tells her it's stupid and a waste of time. She wants to make plans and dreams for the baby, but will not tell them out loud. She wants her son to play sports but her husband said sports are for sissies and his son will not do it. This angers her. Reading and sports are bad?, she reflects, and wonders how such a statement could be made. She knows that if her son is not like his ignorant father, there will be trouble. It kills her to keep her son down and away from good things.

One day she was told to go to the grocery; he allowed her $25.00 to buy everything they need. He made a list for her and figured how long it would take her to drive there and pick up the few things he needed.She asked if she could buy some other things women need and she was told next time because he wanted to buy a pair of sunglasses that had blue tooth capabilities. He wants to look and act like some guy on T.V., some bounty hunter freak show. The line was long at the store and she became worried that it took too long to shop. She is sweating now. She starts getting ill. She drives as fast as she can to get home because her son is with him and she is scared she is in trouble. She hates it when her husband is with her baby. She is afraid he will do something to the baby or not do something to the baby like change him because he has said to everyone that he will not change a diaper. She gets embarrassed every time he brags on how manly he is. She looks at her watch; he does not notice how long it took this time. She is relieved.

She now thinks they will end up in a trailer somewhere in a woods and have a couch for porch furniture. She knows she will only be able to do what he says and she fears her reality of his ignorance will prevail all through her miserable life. She watched him remodel some rooms and wishes he would leave things alone; it is too expensive to turn new goods into junk and lessen the value of their home. She knows that when they sell, the new owner will have to gut the house and start over, if it will sell. It looks horrible. He brags he doesn't use a square or a level. He installed a window sideways! He is ruining the house.

She wishes she was stronger. She wishes she could use her brain. She wishes she could see her mom. She wishes her mom was allowed to see her son. She wishes she never married this guy. How could she be so stupid, so weak, so insecure? Why didn't I date this guy longer, and find out how ignorant he was sooner? She ponders. Why did I think I could change him, teach him to read, give him the skills of life that are needed to be useful. She dreams of being in love. Having talks that she doesn't have to tone down, or be careful what she says and how she says it. She wants to relax and have fun. How long can she carry this burden?

He leaves for work, she wants to pack up! She is afraid he will kill her. She wants her mother. She wants to be loved. She wants to be around people who love her. She tells herself things will get better. She can wait. She can't get anything done around the house. She cries again, but manages to have lunch ready and on time for when he walks through the door. He tells her what he wants for supper and he will be home late. Not late enough she thinks to herself. She smiles at him and tells him to have a good day.

Her mom cries sometimes and wonders why her daughter doesn't have the guts to visit. How can she be so naive to think he can take the baby? How can she believe all this stupid bully talk? Her mom knows how insecure she is and yearns for her to grow up and become a real mom and give the baby what he needs. Her mom knows that the baby needs to have a life with family and an education and real love with common sense. Her mom wants to have a life with her grandson too. All her mom will do is wait for her daughter to grow up and if that happens, try and have a life then, if its not too late, until then her mom will stay happy with her life and hope for the best for her daughter. Her mom can not live her daughter's misery or feel sorry for her. Her mom knows her daughter has to do this on her own. Her mom knows her daughter will wake up one day and realize what is most important in life and stand on her own two feet and start making decisions for herself. Her mom knows she is woman enough to be able to make a good life for herself and the baby.

She is allowed to go to the store again. She is shopping without time restraints for a change. She has the baby with her, so the baby is safe, she feels like she is happy. She feels free and takes her time walking up and down the rows, she looks at everything. And then it happens, she makes the decision to leave her husband. She has the nerve to be real. Before it is too late, she goes to her mom's and drops off the baby. She goes home and gathers some things up and moves into her mom's. She calls a lawyer and gets a restraining order against her husband. She is free. She knows there is no turning back! She can provide a better life for her son now. She sees happiness on the horizon. She knows she will be fine and is not crying anymore. She likes that! She is calm. She is laughing with her mom. She is making plans for the education of her son.

It is the first day of her new life. She wants the house sold, split the proceeds, if any, if it will sell, arranges child support and supervised visitation and makes her ex take parenting classes. The baby grows into a well natured, open minded, educated man. She finds an educated man and becomes happy and finishes college. She has other children and all are happy without stress and ignorance interrupting life. She will soon have a grandchild. She can't wait to hold it and read to it. She no longer remembers her mistake or feels guilty. She just loves life and her family.

The End

Written by Molly Cooper