Subject: DEAR ABBY

 by Marie Boden

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and, as the saying goes, "they walk among us. . ."

DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING!

Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

 Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?  

Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.  

Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.  

Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?  

Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?  

Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.  

Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.  

Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered I think she is going through mental pause.  

Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

Remember these people can vote...

____________________________________________________________

Chris Boden Dealer

Call 419 458 2871

ask for a Catalog

nedobs@udata.com

http://www.watkinsonline.com/boden/

_____________________________________________________________

Sensing The Storm

by Jen

----I smell a storm brewing overhead off in the distance somewhere and as I make preparations for the storm, I expect the worst and hope only for the best.

----I taste the thick and lumpy taste of fear, as it builds up in my throat and I know the animals, crops and earth are thirsty for the rain however, all we really need is the rain.

----I see the lightning, as it streaks across the sky with its' dark and bright angry colors, dashing this way and that way in no apparent direction.

----I hear the thunder with its' unfriendly voice, screaming randomly in every direction, sparing no one's ears and apologizing not for all of the fearful tears.

----I feel the rain with its' big and small droplets of water, void of shape and form, as it falls first upon the tin roof and window pane and next upon myself, a spectator of all the frenzy and finally it pounds upon the thirsty, rock hard earth and cascades across the land, delivering a more than adequate supply to all that it feeds and for the farmers who requested it, weeks ago.

Title: Sensing The Storm

Date: March 23, 1994

Author: Jennifer Lynn Morris

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> Sick Leave
> I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew
> the Boss would not
> allow me to take leave.
> I thought that maybe if I acted "Crazy" he would
> tell me to take a
> few days off. So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling
> and made funny
> noises.
> My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was
> doing.
> I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb,
> so that the boss
> might think I was "Crazy" and give me a few days
> off.
> A few minutes later the Boss came into the office
> and asked, "What in
> the name of good GOD are you doing?"
> I told him I was a light bulb.
> He said, "You are clearly stressed out." Go home and
> recuperate for a
> couple of days."
> I jumped down and walked out of the office...
> When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss
> asked her,"..
> And where do you think you're going....
> (You're gonna love this....)
> She said, "I'm going home, too. You can't possibly
> expect me to work
> in the dark!

PLANNING A WEDDING IS ROCKET SCIENCE

 by Laurie Scalf

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.  

Dec.
12/4/ 2007
 
Just a quick note, an old internet friend who I met in Delhi Airport in
1995) is waiting as I check my E-mail here at the Cantral YHA (Youth
Hostel).

The "Indian Pacific" train across SW Austrailia was comfortable. Two
nights (44-hours, I believe). The seats were crowded, however a dozen of
us discovered that we could sleep on the sofa-like benches in the
lounge-car (illegally) without too much hassle. What luxury, being able
to actually sleep flat for a change. Ahhhhhhhhh.

If northern Australia was all similar, crossing the Nullabore Desert
(No-trees), was absolutely uniform. Redish dusty-soil on linestone rock
base, with 12" scrubby brush, NO water, and absolutely flat in every
direction. The railroad actually goes precisely straight for 300-miles.

Ten-pm one night we stopped for refuling, and the railroad arranged for
some 40 of us to take a bus tour through Kigoolie. One of the riches
gold-mines in the world. Millions of ounces of gold have been extracted
since their gold-rush of 1910. The open pit mine is some 1.5-km
diameter, 1-km deep -- bigger than the huge copper-pit I've watched grow
during my lifetime, in Bute, Mt.

East of the Desert, South Australia evolved from rich wheat-fields into
rich truck-farms.

Tomorrow I begin the final 2-day train, north to Darwin, where after a
few days I fly to Singapore.

Gotta go, adventure (and my friend) awaits.
Best to all,

--jim
________________________________________

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Perth 2

by Jim Fox

_______________________________________________________________

Dec.
12/1/ 2007
 
Feeling much better after 4 or 5 days of really good relaxing rest --
though still a bit stuffy. I notice that on every bus 3 or 4 of us share
the same deep cough -- must be the same local cold?

No matter. Perth has proven to be a wonderful town to hang out in. I
moved to a backpacker Hostel located right across the street from the
central train station, and in the heart of the strolling downtown
commercial area. Literally some 8 or 12 blocks or more are stone paved
streets dedicated mostly to walking, and buildings have become
rabbit-warrens or multilevel interconnected malls. The ancient bazaars
have been recreated. Local buses are free. It's just a great place to
wander eat, sit or shop.

Weather is generally perfect, between cool and warm. This morning I
suddenly noticed the streets were wet. I'd been under an awning, and a
shower had quietly swept through without any notice. In direct afternoon
the sun can be "intense." I suppose I should have sunglasses, I've got
SPF-30 cream, but am not really in that much sun.

Yesterday late afternoon, I was sitting on a bench, in the
pedestrian-way and two girls approached. They introduced themselves. At
first I figured missionaries (Ho-hum); but one was a TEFL (Teaching
English as a Foreign Language) Instructor and the other was a student
from Hong Kong. They were from a local English Institute (and yes,
missionaries -- but NOT pushy). So we had a wonderful session helping
the student "practice" her English for over half an hour. Very gentle
they reminded me of the Christianity my mother practiced rather than the
pushy harassment, commercialism and fundamentalist sellout of today.
Before leaving they prayed for my recovery and trip. It was okay.

Today, I took the urban-train to Fremantle, 20-minutes southwest of
here. Fremantle is the mouth of the Swan River, the real container
shipping port. Since the very beginning there have been three
interlinked cities here :port, primary and agricultural. Now of course
it's becoming a sprawling suburban area (I believe 1-million
population?). I saw average prices posted in the over $300,000 ranges.
People are quite rightfully moving to this area (if jobs and housing can
keep up).

Night before last, I had 1-kg of "Steamed Mussels" with a half liter of
Belgium Hoegarden beer. I'd had Hoegarden in Brussels (1999), where
on-tap it was great (best in world?). However, this just didn't quite
measure up.

Last night, I tried a local brew-pub (that no longer brews). Talked a
long time with a local "AyeTee Specialist" -- before I realized it was
"I.T. Specialist." (Computer System Manager). We dissected Australia's
recent Election, and then swapped computer stories. Here the "Liberal
Party" is totally controlled by big-business (and conservatives) vs the
"Labor Party" which is workers. Clear? Duhhhh. There are many minor
parties, but since they each support one of the big two, it's not a
lost-vote to vote for them. Clear? "No matter, because they're all
working for themselves," he finally explained. Hmmmm. "Sounds familiar,"
I replied.

Architecture here is same as throughout urban Austrailia. Old (1900)
stone buildings contrasting with very bold powerful new structures. Very
challenging structural details (stairs with no secondary support
columns, neither trivial nor easy). It's a very "take command" sort of
attitude. Meanwhile all the construction labor wears short-pants.

This has been an excellent low stress break. Perth is a good low-key
place to visit. Tomorrow noon I board the Indian-Pacific Train for
several days across the southwest desert to Adelaide.

Time's running out, gotta log-off.
--jim

___________________________________________________________

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid

by Scott Boden

_____________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

Chris Boden Dealer

Call 419 458 2871

ask for a Catalog

nedobs@udata.com

___________________________________________________________________

Gypsy Hill Park

by Jen

_________________________________________

----I sat on a bench at Gypsy Hill park to watch the beautiful sunset. My eyes played games with the clouds that slowly rolled by.

----I walked toward the pathway and picked up some pebbles that lay on the ground and I skipped them across a pond nearby. I looked at the reflection in the water and for a moment, it was your face that I saw.

----I took your letters from my jacket and slowly read them all. It would be a wonderful thing if that pond were an ocean, for I would write you a letter and place it in a bottle and wait for it to arrive on the beautiful shores of your heart.

----I looked across the park and imagined you setting there beneath our favorite oak tree and I asked a robin perched upon a limb, "Why is this place called Gypsy Hill park?"

Title: Gypsy Hill Park

Date: March 23, 1994

Author: Jennifer Lynn Morris

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

by Scott Boden

_______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________

Color My world

by Jen

----The time I've spent with you is like a coloring book and each page is a brand new day and the colors of each day are bright ones and the dark shadows have all gone away.

----You color my world by just being there and the things that you do and say. I find that different things around me are reminders of you when you are away.

----I know every day isn't a peachy-orange or even a pretty violet-blue but, those are just days we don't stay in the lines and I know we can see each other through.

----You once told me "Life is a game and to win, you first have to play" well, I'm ready to play the game, I just need you to color my world along the way.

Title: Color My World

Date: March 23, 1994

Author: Jennifer Lynn Morris

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Margarine vs. Butter

I thought you would like this exciting info. about Margarine vs. Butter.

Pass The Butter . please.

This is interesting . . . . . Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys. When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get their money back. It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added the yellow coloring and sold it to people to use in place of butter. How do you like it? They have come out with some clever new flavorings.

DO YOU KNOW.. the difference between margarine and butter?

Both have the same amount of calories. Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5 gram s. Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.

Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods.  

Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only because they are added! Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of other foods. Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years.

And now, for Margarine..

Very high in trans fatty acids. Triple risk of coronary heart disease. Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol) Increases the r i sk of cancers up to five fold. Lowers quality of breast milk. Decreases immune response. Decreases insulin response.

And here's the most disturbing fact.... HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING! Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC..

This fact alone was enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance).

You can try this yourself:

Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple of days you will note a couple of things:

* no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something) * it does not rot or smell differently be cause it has no nutritional value; nothing will grow on it. Even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not a find a home to grow. Why? Because it is nearly plastic. Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?

by Ken Boden

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Scott's

First Book

by Robyn Boden

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---------------------------------------------------------------------

_______________________________________________________

Chris Boden Dealer

Call 419 458 2871

ask for a Catalog

nedobs@udata.com

Blondes on a Bus

another blonde joke

  Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a week end gambling trip to Louisiana.

The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and
the Blonde team rode on the top level.

The Brunette team down below really whooped it up,
having a great time, when one of them realized she
hadn't heard anything from the  Blondes upstairs.

She decided to go up and investigate.

When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the
Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the
road, clutching the seats in front of them with white
knuckles.

The brunette asked, 'What the heck's going on up here?
We're  having a great time  downstairs!'

  One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and  whispered... 'YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER.'

submitted by Marie Boden

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Perth

by Jim Fox

_________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

http://laurieandjuliowedding.com

_______________________________

BLOND JOKE

A blonde was feeling so depressed that she decided to end her life by     
throwing herself into Lake Erie. She went down to the docks and  was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw

her teetering on the edge of the pier, crying

.                         
                                                                        
He took pity on her and said, "Listen, you've got a lot to live for. I'm  
off to Europe in the morning and if you like, I can stow you away on my  
ship.  I'll take good care of you, and bring you food every day."         
                                                                          ;  
Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added with a   
Wink, "and I'll make you happy, and you can make ME happy."                
                                                                           
The girl nodded yes through her tears. After all, what did she have to    
lose?  That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a         
lifeboat, along with blankets and food. Fr om then on, every night he      
brought her sandwiches, water, wine and fruit and they would make mad,
passionate love until dawn .                                               
                                                                           
Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was disco vered by the Captain.                                                                  
                                                                           
"What the hell are you doing here?" the Captain demanded angrily.         
                                                                           
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get    
free food and a trip to Europe. Meanwhile, (she says smiling coyly) he's  
been taking advantage of me." (wink)                                      
                                                                            
"He sure as hell is, lady," the Captain said. "This is the Put-In-Bay     
ferry!"

submitted by Marie Boden

This is How It Works!

by Scott Boden

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Voter Registration

How can I obtain an Ohio voter registration application?

You may obtain a form in person, and register in person, at any of the following locations:

• The office of the Secretary of State or any of the 88 county boards of elections.
• The office of any deputy registrar of the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles.
• Offices of designated agencies that provide public assistance or disability programs.
• Public libraries.
• Public high schools or vocational schools.
• County treasurers’ offices.

You also may ask a county board of elections or the Secretary of State’s office to mail a registration form to you. If you have Internet access, you may download a form from the Secretary of State’s Web site: www.sos.state.oh.us.

Where can I register to vote?

You can register to vote in person at the locations listed above.

When must I register?

Ohio has a 30-day voter registration requirement. If you register to vote by mail, your properly completed and signed registration application may be mailed to any of the afore mentioned locations, except the offices of the Bureau of Motor Vehicles or its deputy registrars, and must be postmarked not later than the 30th day before the first election in which you want to vote.

If you do not submit your registration application by mail, you must deliver the form to a county board of elections, the office of the Secretary of State, a public library, high school or vocational school, county treasurer’s office or designated agency not later than the registration deadline for the first election in which you want to vote. If you are entrusting the delivery of your completed form to another person, that person must deliver your registration form to a county board of elections or the Secretary of State’s office.

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Submitted by Marie Boden

Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a Texan are all working together one day.  They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in all", says the Genie.  

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer and my son will also farm.  I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."  

POOF!  With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.  

Osama was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, Palestine, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come on our precious land."  

POOF!   Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.  

The Texan says, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."  

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country.  Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable."  

The Texan sits down, cracks a beer, smiles, and says, "fill it with water."  

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Hyderabad India

by Jim Fox

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Editor's Note: Stories are not in order due to computer crash!

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DON'T FORGET TO REGISTER!

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Redneck At Heart

----He is a medium built man with very few words.

----He has come to the conclusion that relationships are truly for the birds.

----He is a member of the Eagles and the NRA.

----He would choose a home cooked meal over fast food, any day.

----He drives a ford pick-up truck with the windows rolled down.

----He knows everyone worth knowing in his little home town.

----He is quick to help out a friend in need.

----He believes a friend for life is a friend indeed.

----He likes cigarettes and coffee and he loves to hear Willie Nelson and George Jones.

----For fun, he goes fishing and he works on phones.

----He has been known every once in a while to pop open a beer.

----He is fortunate enough to have had the same job for many a year.

----He helped to raise two children and now they are grown.

----He will retire in a year or two, then his time will be his own.

----He will be the first to admit that he and his habits never will part.

----He is and will always be a REDNECK AT HEART.

Title: Redneck At Heart

Date: March 23, 1994

Author: Jennifer Lynn Morris

_______________________________________________________

Chris Boden Dealer

Call 419 458 2871

ask for a Catalog

______________________________________

Subject: Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

submitted by Marie Boden

'1' 
Blaming your farts on me..... 
not funny... not funny at all !!! 
-------------------------------------------- 
'2' 
Yelling at me for barking. 
I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT! 
-------------------------------------------- 
'3' 
Taking me for a walk, then 
not letting me check stuff out. 
Exactly whose walk is this anyway? 
-------------------------------------------- 
'4' 
Any trick that involves balancing 
food on my nose. Stop it! 
-------------------------------------------- 
'5' 
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. 
Now you know why we chew your stuff 
up when you're not home. 
-------------------------------------------------- 
'6' 
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. 
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what 
a proud moment for the top of the food chain. 
----------------------------------------- -- 
'7' 
Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', 
then acting surprised when I freak 
out every time we go back! 
-------------------------------------------- 
'8' 
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. 
Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet. 
-------------------------------------------------- 
'9' 
Dog sweaters. Hello ??? 
Haven't you noticed the fur? 
-------------------------------------------- 
'10' 
How you act disgusted when I lick myself. 
Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.
---------------------------------- --------- 
Now lay off me on some of these things. 
We both know who's boss here! 
You don't see me picking up your poop do you? 

EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY. 
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. 
CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT! 
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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED